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Move Over Seinfeld...Vbitch is the Next BIG Thing! (2003-10-24 - 11:00 a.m.) I feel like I�ve been living in a Seinfeld episode all my life. I�m not really sure who the Jerry, Elaine and George would be, but oh�they�re in here somewhere. The past year has been way too bizarre to be an actual life�I�m just waiting for the film crew to pop out of the woodwork and yell �CUT!� Since I�ve known Misstress, we�ve always said that we should write a sitcom about our lives�and I know that it would be god damn interesting. You would probably watch it, especially the Friday evening episodes�those are always good, wholesome family entertainment. (If your family is a bunch of deranged drunks that enjoy teasing college frat boys mercilessly. And we all know that the majority of families in States are just that.) Okay�back to the show. My life, and by extension, my friend�s lives are pretty exquisite, you know, in the dramatically tragic sense. Picture this� The opening credits roll (accompanied by some stupid intro of 90�s style pop music) while the main character stumbles blindly from bed. She makes her way through the day working as little as humanely possibly, while still retaining her job. (This is the George) Stealing office supplies, finding really interesting and almost impossible excuses why she can�t come in. House being flooded, weird religious holidays, rare and highly contagious skin conditions, etc. She sleeps around and has crazy and kooky adventures while doing so. *Enter first commercial break* And that�s just me�wait until I come up with the supporting characters! They�re all just as deeply disturbed and �outrageously funny� as I am. More after these messages from our sponsor.
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