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Crossroads (2003-07-08 - 12:48 p.m.) Since the breakup, FL and I have been spending more time together than we have in the past 3 years. I love spending time with him, but I think that this may not be the best thing to do. We broke up to see if we were better off alone, but since last Friday we�ve seen eachother almost everyday. How can either of us determine what we originally set out to discover if we keep behaving like we�re still together? Nothing has changed; we still talk everyday, we still say �I love you� and we still hold eachother tight whenever we can. The only thing that has changed is the fact that I can't call him my boyfriend anymore, that and the fact that we stopped having sex. (Which was my decision.) In March of last year we split up for a few months, and during the majority of the time that we spent apart, we were still having sex. This really screwed with my head and I couldn�t keep it up. I thought that this time I would save myself the heart/headache and abstain. My heart is still in love; it�s still with FL. My brain is fighting with itself whenever I think about it, and I�m wondering if it�s worth it. Seeing him all the time, and acting like we�re still a couple, is keeping us both emotionally and romantically attached to eachother. I don�t want to be the girl who waits around for "The One Big Love" that she thought she had found just to end up old and alone. I just want to say hello to the readers of Estonia, �leni n�ost s�rama! (Please forgive me if I misspelt that.) |