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AAHHH!!! (2003-06-05 - 12:32 p.m.) I need something to occupy my mind, something to distract me from the thoughts that are plowing through my brain at 200mph. I think that I may be losing it, literally. I�ve never felt so ill at ease before; even my insides are giving me shit�literally! The minutes are passing by like hours and I can�t get anything productive done at work. I don�t think I�d feel so apprehensive if FL would just give me a call. Since he�s been overseas he�s made a point to call me every other day to let me know what he�s been up to and that things are fine. Well, no one has heard from him since Sunday. This makes me a little nervous, fuck it, I�m not lying, it�s making me very nervous. The past month has been pretty tough, but this week is just out of control. For the first month I was only filtering out the fact that he�d be home IN A MONTH A HALF. Now that it�s down to the wire my body is starting to tear itself apart. Between thinking about him cheating on me, or the reasons why he hasn�t called anyone and the fact that he�ll be home with that scary gift that he�ll be giving me when he gets here, my world is getting pretty hectic. I lost my money and faith, I�m surrounded by cheaters. Is it just me or does life suck the big one sometimes? |